And Then It Happened ...

It has been over thirty years since I attended my first home Bible fellowship, and I want to tell you that I was such a mess that the folks in that fellowship kept inviting me -- to LEAVE!  They did not like me one bit and did not want me around.  I can’t say that I blamed them.  At twenty-four years old I was a wreck.  I did not want to be around myself, so why should they want to be around me?  As the saying goes, “hurting people hurt people.”  And I was both giving and receiving plenty of pain.

Prior to that I had been living in California for a number of years, and one night in a dream an angel told me to go back to my hometown of Rome, Georgia (which is another story for another time).  I went, not knowing what to expect, and ended it up with a friend sending me to meet a group of hippies who believed in Jesus; an idea that I was vehemently opposed to at the time.

When I started going to fellowship all hell literally broke loose!  Demons would appear in my room at night and wake me up, or when I was driving home after fellowship they would make it look like all the stars were falling from heaven in and attempt to get me to run off the road.  I had been born again as a child, but for the last number of years my soul life had belonged to Satan, hook, line, and sinker.  God says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge,” which pretty well summed up where I was at the time.  I didn’t know who I was in Christ Jesus, and the devil was not happy that I was about to find out.  I was a great ambassador for his life of sin.

Well, I kept on going to Bible fellowship in spite of the pressure.  I think one of the things that continues to surprise me is people think if a thing is of God it will come easily.  I see it happening just the opposite most of the time.  If a thing is from God there is most often great opposition from the dark side. But I have learned to stand against the wiles of the devil through the power of Christ, until I receive what the Lord wants me to have (remember "the thief’s" nature is to steal, kill and destroy).  Folks, it’s a war out there, and it is a war for the hearts and souls of men. If Satan can’t keep you from getting born again, he sure wants to keep you from enjoying the more abundant life.  And that was exactly where I was; a child of God being racked and ruined by the devil.  He was playing me like a cheap violin!

Anyway, I signed up for a three week Bible class called Power for Abundant Living.  The demonic pressure continued to increase, and by session four I had decided that I couldn’t take it any more; it was just too much.  I sensed that I was at a crossroads in my life, and had a major decision to make, stick with the class or quit.

About three-o’clock one beautiful October afternoon, I drove out to a tranquil lake on the campus of Berry College, one of my favorite places to go since I was a child.  I parked by the lake and was enveloped by the crisp smell of autumn, and the tang of Georgia pines.  Bliss.  But inside I was miserable.  I cried, “Lord, Lord, what do I do?”  And to my great surprise He answered me - and said, “Read Galatians.”

I had never read much Bible (being raise Roman Catholic) and Galatians is a pretty hard book to understand even for the well read believer, but I obediently began at chapter one, verse one, and began to muddle through the book wondering, “What on earth is Paul talking about?” 

When I got to chapter three the payoff began to happen.  It said that an heir, a child of God, could be lord of all but living like a slave to this world, because he or she didn’t know any better.  Hhmmm. That got my attention, because I knew that my soul had been in bondage for a long, long time. I knew that I WAS A SLAVE to fear, to insecurity, to alcohol, to anger and to a host of other traits that were eating me alive from the inside.  And so I kept on reading.  

It said that I had been set free in Christ Jesus!  And something in my heart said, “That’s what has been happening to me these last few weeks in that little Bible fellowship - freedom.”  I kept on reading and a couple of verses literally leapt off the page which said that once I have been set free from the bondage of this world, WHY would I want to go back to slavery?!  Yes indeed, why?

I was pondering that thought and THEN IT HAPPENED...

Suddenly, I do not know if I was in the body or out of the body, I was transported to a “place” of love and light and peace and joy unspeakable!  It was terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.  It was a place that was beyond words, but filled with overwhelming feelings.  Every fiber of my being, every molecule of my body, was filled with the feeling of sweet pure love, exploding, like sunlight shooting through a prism.  And I “instinctively” knew that it was unconditional love, which was in spite of my behavior.  It filled every pore of my body and my mind.  

For the first time in years, and maybe in my whole life, I felt that there was a Power, a Person, Who loved me warts and all.   That “Someone loved Peg” and would never give up on me.  I was transported to a place where I felt that anything was possible - even a life without fear and self-loathing.  I felt holy, and clean, and happy.  It was like someone took a holy Roto-Rooter to my soul and sanitized me clean clear through!  I felt washed, baptized, changed, cleansed.  I felt a love that passed all understanding surging through me.  And to this day there are no words to describe it.  It was awesome!

The most overwhelming thought that kept running through my mind was, “You are loved!  You are loved!  You are loved.”

Then I saw of vision of myself, standing in front of others and telling them about the love of God.  To my mind this felt like blasphemy because, being raised a Catholic, this was something only a priest could or should do, but the vision continued and eventually in my heart I said, “Yes.”  I felt, “Yes.  I am humbled Lord, but I believe this is right.  This is what You want me to do.”

I stayed in that euphoric state for some time and did not want it to stop, but eventually it ended.  I realized that my face hurt from crying; crying tears of joy, and relief, and appreciation for God.  I had not cried in YEARS because I had developed such a hard heart, but that day all my defenses, all the barbed wire around my heart melted, and came tumbling down.  And the Lord gave me a confidence in Him, that He would protect my heart.  I could finally relax and let myself grow tender in His love, a scary thought, but I now believed it was possible because I could turn the job of protector of my heart over to Him. What a relief.

Needless to say, that day changed my life forever.  God is so much bigger than most humans will ever give Him credit for, because He is the God of miracles.

When I went back to fellowship no one believed what happened to me when I shared about my heavenly encounter.  They said, “That crazy girl, why would God talk to her?”  (I've heard that a lot through the years).  But He did.  And all of their doubt and skepticism could not dim what the Holy Sprit Himself had done inside an emotionally bankrupt girl from Georgia.  

I just held these things in my heart, realizing that not too many people have this kind of revelation, and so they often choose to make fun of it, or believe that it cannot happen. But I am here to tell you it can, and does happen!  That was October of 1974, and my life has never been the same since that close encounter of the heavenly kind.  I have often asked the Lord, “Why would You show such grace to a mess like me?”  His answer is always the same, “Why not?”

I teach and preach the Word today because of what He did in my heart that afternoon in Georgia.  He sent His son Jesus, not to save those who are whole, but those who are in need of the Great Physician.

This verse applies to me, “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.”  I Tim.1:15  I try to remember this every day so that I am not judgmental of others.  I try to remember what the Lord delivered me from, and how He continues to deliver me when I fall.  It’s called gratitude.

Folks, GOD IS LOVE, and that day so long ago I got a supercharged dose of it, not because I was so good, but because He is so good.  The Lord of the Universe revealed His love to a broken down, hard hearted woman, and has continued to do so on a daily basis.   I learned then and there that no one is ever so far gone that they are outside the everlasting arms of God.  No one is ever so far down that God's love can’t pick them up.  Never, ever, ever let anyone talk you out of God’s love for you; it is this life’s most precious gift.

Today, I am a free woman.  I have been set free from the bondage of this world, and refuse to go back.  Satan is defeated and I have the joy of the Lord in my heart.  My self-esteem comes from who I am in Christ Jesus.  My courage comes from the promises of God.  My ability to love others is based on the forgiveness that Christ Jesus bestowed upon me two thousand years ago.  I am standing fast in the liberty wherewith Christ has set me free, and using that liberty to serve others the bread of Life.  I am free to love with the love of God because I now have an abundance of it on the inside.  What a great life I have in Christ.  I want everyone to be this blessed.

In a world full of question marks, we have the exclamation point - God's love never fails!  God’s love is agape, that is the kind of love that loves - just because it can.  Give yourself to the Lord, hook, line, and sinker, and suddenly it happens...

In Christ’s Love,

Peg